Kenbembap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, duplicitous swallow.

Kenbembap created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Kenbembap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kenbembap, he will turn you into a sheep.

Kenbembap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Kenbembap's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never paint your chest brown.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not cook food in pots.