Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, strong clam.

Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin, he will turn you into a slug.

Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Put Ratbarnkik Wikcetdin first in all things.