Bodpogbat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unsympathetic mink.

Bodpogbat created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodpogbat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bodpogbat, she will turn you into a slug.

Bodpogbat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bodpogbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Never wear blue shoes.

5. Do not kill goats.