Gutdib Kanlentensidpangligdogxem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate lobster.

Gutdib Kanlentensidpangligdogxem created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutdib Kanlentensidpangligdogxem, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutdib Kanlentensidpangligdogxem, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Gutdib Kanlentensidpangligdogxem's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gutdib Kanlentensidpangligdogxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured manatees.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Do not take Gutdib Kanlentensidpangligdogxem's name in vain.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Pray towards the west.