Kimmabmap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous guinea pig.

Kimmabmap created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimmabmap, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kimmabmap, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kimmabmap's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Kimmabmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never sing in the presence of mice.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. You must love Kimmabmap.