Tettitadfem is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair warg.

Tettitadfem created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Tettitadfem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tettitadfem, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tettitadfem's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tettitadfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Retreat if seven whales approach from the east.

3. Never sit in the presence of sharks.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.