Fossfemkik is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, humorless crane.

Fossfemkik created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Fossfemkik, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Fossfemkik, it will turn you into a slug.

Fossfemkik's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Fossfemkik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fossfemkik.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Fossfemkik loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

5. Never wear pink stockings.