Hakfudvig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, impressive fairy.

Hakfudvig created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakfudvig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hakfudvig, it will curse you with boils.

Hakfudvig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Hakfudvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hakfudvig.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Hakfudvig loves bats, so they must be respected.

5. You must love Hakfudvig.