Nurtgessnakbutfat is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous seal.

Nurtgessnakbutfat created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtgessnakbutfat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtgessnakbutfat, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nurtgessnakbutfat's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nurtgessnakbutfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Retreat if six squirrels approach from the north.