Cunloopnart is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, fussy wolf.

Cunloopnart created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunloopnart, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cunloopnart, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cunloopnart's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cunloopnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never paint your chest violet.

5. Worship no other gods but Cunloopnart.