Konwapgut is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, cheerful zebra.

Konwapgut created the Andromeda Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konwapgut, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Konwapgut, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Konwapgut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Konwapgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Konwapgut loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.