Kapsugcem is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, calm squirrel.

Kapsugcem created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapsugcem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kapsugcem, it will remove you from existence.

Kapsugcem's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Kapsugcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always obey Kapsugcem's priests.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.