Vinfattag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, smart donkey.

Vinfattag created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinfattag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vinfattag, he will send minions to preach to you.

Vinfattag's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vinfattag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never feed lemons to dogs while wearing violet jumpers.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never eat green fruit.