Sidkemfun Armjarnjan is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, astonishing elephant.

Sidkemfun Armjarnjan created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sidkemfun Armjarnjan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sidkemfun Armjarnjan, it will manifest in front of you.

Sidkemfun Armjarnjan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sidkemfun Armjarnjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think ill of sick mice.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.