Flagwanlim Kanlatsand Dodshavstik is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, overgenerous monkey.

Flagwanlim Kanlatsand Dodshavstik created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagwanlim Kanlatsand Dodshavstik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flagwanlim Kanlatsand Dodshavstik, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flagwanlim Kanlatsand Dodshavstik's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flagwanlim Kanlatsand Dodshavstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect four tin sculptures of Flagwanlim Kanlatsand Dodshavstik on top of important buildings.