Manstipcit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, dishonest lion.

Manstipcit created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Manstipcit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Manstipcit, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Manstipcit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Manstipcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Run away from cyan turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.