Dubfatgum is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, passionate ferret.

Dubfatgum created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubfatgum, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dubfatgum, she will turn you into a frog.

Dubfatgum's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dubfatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

5. Do not listen to music.