Parkrapgig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, amazing dolphin.

Parkrapgig created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkrapgig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Parkrapgig, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Parkrapgig's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Parkrapgig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think ill of sick eagles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.