Lamdodjin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, impressive mole.

Lamdodjin created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lamdodjin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lamdodjin, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Lamdodjin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Lamdodjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.