Jiphitjen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unselfish snail.

Jiphitjen created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiphitjen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jiphitjen, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jiphitjen's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Jiphitjen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six sharks approach from the north.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if five manatees approach from the east.