Zinzebnig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, caring meerkat.

Zinzebnig created parasitic wasps four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zinzebnig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zinzebnig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zinzebnig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Zinzebnig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zinzebnig first in all things.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always treat snakes with great respect.