Xuckbarnfitbafgup is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, intelligent crocodile.

Xuckbarnfitbafgup created the Sombrero Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbarnfitbafgup, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xuckbarnfitbafgup, she will turn you into a rat.

Xuckbarnfitbafgup's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Xuckbarnfitbafgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Never paint your back orange.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Xuckbarnfitbafgup on top of all buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Xuckbarnfitbafgup.