Yasstagvad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, amazing dolphin.

Yasstagvad created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yasstagvad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yasstagvad, he will curse you with boils.

Yasstagvad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Yasstagvad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away from green monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Hide from black snails for they are unholy.

5. Always help sick squirrels.