Vedfigkophabarfnel is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, humorless deer.

Vedfigkophabarfnel created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedfigkophabarfnel, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vedfigkophabarfnel, he will refuse to believe in you.

Vedfigkophabarfnel's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Vedfigkophabarfnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never mention grasshopers.

3. Never run near tapirs.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Do not hurt otters.