Dimsanmum is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless tortoise.

Dimsanmum created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimsanmum, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dimsanmum, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dimsanmum's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dimsanmum's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always help sharks in need.