Methubxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless human.

Methubxuc created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Methubxuc, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Methubxuc, it will make you grow a tail.

Methubxuc's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Methubxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Methubxuc loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Never paint your arms mauve.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not sit in public.