Ranmancub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless tapir.

Ranmancub created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ranmancub, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ranmancub, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ranmancub's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Ranmancub's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.