Gutfutlop is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, blissful snail.

Gutfutlop created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfutlop, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gutfutlop, it will torture you forever.

Gutfutlop's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Gutfutlop's Holy Commandments

1. Gutfutlop loves bats, so they must be honoured.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Erect nine copper sculptures of Gutfutlop on top of important buildings.

5. Always take life seriously.