Fetlabcut is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, amazing wyvern.

Fetlabcut created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetlabcut, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetlabcut, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Fetlabcut's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fetlabcut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Fetlabcut on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.