Febwipdan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, loving walrus.

Febwipdan created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febwipdan, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Febwipdan, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Febwipdan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Febwipdan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry doves.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Run away from brown dolphins, for they are unholy.