Fonvigrill is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-powerful walrus.

Fonvigrill created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonvigrill, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fonvigrill, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fonvigrill's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fonvigrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Great tits are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear orange dresses.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.