Zagflatwad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, able scorpion.

Zagflatwad created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagflatwad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zagflatwad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zagflatwad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Zagflatwad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never look at planets.