Yattlarnyik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, humorless fly.

Yattlarnyik created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattlarnyik, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattlarnyik, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yattlarnyik's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yattlarnyik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never sit in holy places.