Zanken is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering turtle.

Zanken created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanken, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zanken, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zanken's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Zanken's Holy Commandments

1. Zanken loves dogs, so they must be respected.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help monkeys in need.