Cutjarncar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, slow finch.

Cutjarncar created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cutjarncar, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cutjarncar, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cutjarncar's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Cutjarncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not covet oxen.