Gesstabbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain meerkat.

Gesstabbiss created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Gesstabbiss, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gesstabbiss, she will ignore you.

Gesstabbiss' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gesstabbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

3. Run away from white capybaras, for they are unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not hurt dolphins.