Quimflagwig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful raven.

Quimflagwig created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimflagwig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quimflagwig, she will destroy your home solar system.

Quimflagwig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Quimflagwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of foxes.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Retreat if three porpoises approach from the east.

5. Always help sick dolphins.