Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, witless rhinoceros.

Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine hamsters approach from the east.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk on top of all buildings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xinlarnbim Quatbassvonk.
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