Natcapxuc is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective squirrel.

Natcapxuc created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natcapxuc, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Natcapxuc, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Natcapxuc's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Natcapxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.
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