Zedfossnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic duck.

Zedfossnurt created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedfossnurt, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zedfossnurt, it will turn you into a sheep.

Zedfossnurt's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Zedfossnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white shoes.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Run away from gray whales, for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.