Tarbephot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable turtle.

Tarbephot created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarbephot, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tarbephot, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tarbephot's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tarbephot's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always look after injured great tits.

5. Erect three nickel sculptures of Tarbephot on top of important buildings.