Bapshavgam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, witty pig.

Bapshavgam created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bapshavgam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bapshavgam, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bapshavgam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bapshavgam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.