Tigtiknur is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, loving clam.

Tigtiknur created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigtiknur, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tigtiknur, it will manifest in front of you.

Tigtiknur's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Tigtiknur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Put Tigtiknur first in all things.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tigtiknur.