Sombetvid is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unjust wombat.

Sombetvid created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sombetvid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sombetvid, she will turn you into a plant.

Sombetvid's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sombetvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sombetvid.

5. Always treat sharks with great respect.