Janfembell is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, weak hyena.

Janfembell created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Janfembell, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Janfembell, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Janfembell's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Janfembell's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Janfembell.

2. Never laugh near whales.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never eat bark.