Larnlapteen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless wyrm.

Larnlapteen created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnlapteen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Larnlapteen, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Larnlapteen's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Larnlapteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms white.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear stockings.