Kangutwon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, fast gerbil.

Kangutwon created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kangutwon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kangutwon, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kangutwon's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kangutwon's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat grapes.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.