Zanbappas is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, proud donkey.

Zanbappas created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanbappas, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zanbappas, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Zanbappas' most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zanbappas' Holy Commandments

1. Zanbappas loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Zanbappas on top of all buildings.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Always help sick nematodes.