Fitzodvenwig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome crane.

Fitzodvenwig created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitzodvenwig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fitzodvenwig, it will cry a lot.

Fitzodvenwig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Fitzodvenwig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green eagles, for they are unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away if nine rats approach from the north.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. Never look at galaxies.