Bomvonkon is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witty faun.

Bomvonkon created Mount Everest twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bomvonkon, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bomvonkon, she will remove you from existence.

Bomvonkon's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bomvonkon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Put Bomvonkon first in all things.